Virtual Life, Imagination And Fuc*ed Up Reality

Well I guess I start hating the way how some chemistry, my brain or whatever is making a fool of me.
Someone should have waken me up long long time ago....

There are things I cannot affect. And I honestly wish I could do so.
When is all your life based on some fucked up fantasy. Some hopeless hope or a picture you stare at... What is this life about? Does it really worth to live something like this?

I would sacrifice so much, just to make the dream come true...
However. I think I just woke to one strange day. This morning I felt like someone has stolen my pink glasses.
Oh my God I want them back.

I loved the world I lived. This intoxication of happiness to whom I didn't need any drogs. I loved it so much more that this - let's face it - lonely life of some loser unable to open himself to new people.

Come anyone, give me back what was stolen from me.
I might need one very specific hug again.
Need the feeling.

And what I have?
One virtual life. Dreams. And a picture to stare at.
Sad....

Cannot get rid of him....^^

She says, "This man's gonna be my death

'Cause he's all I ever wanted in my life

And I know he doesn't know my name

And that all the girls are all the same to him

But still I've got to get out of this place

'Cause I don't think I can face another night

@Emilie Autumn

....sounds somehow familiar to me :D

Creepy Morn

For today's morning I changed my plans.
When I saw the perfect spooky light outside, lying fog on a morning dew, autumn yellow birch....

I just took my camera instead of poles and went on a nearby island.

click for more pictures....

Woof!

As I promised the story continues - my little creations which are meant as birthday gifts for my actual employers and friends Katka and Jáchym.
Both siberian huskies from our kennel. Here we go.

NorthWapiti's Captain Canuck for Katka:

and Flying Comet Kipp d' Amundsen for Jáchym:

A Daysleeper?

Strange days...
There is a creature that refuses to leave my head.
The creature is welcome.
And would be more welcome by my side while falling asleep.
I know I know.
Unrealistic.

Certain circumstances have forced me to take a pencil and draw.
Strange days...
It's been more than 3 years I didn't draw a thing.
I feel new possibilities. New ways.
This story is to be continued. In few days I will share the products of what I did not forget.
At least I hope.

And some people will always make me sad and upset.
Strange days...
Those days when you lose your reacquired hopes. Ancestors. Eh.

And that's why I keep this creature in my head and don't let him go away.
Strange days...

Just A Month....

One month to go...!

An ultimate challenge of my mind, charm and self-confidence :D
Well. We'll see which fairy or beast is hidden under my skin.

How brave it is. And what it is able to do to seize the one and only opportunity.
Hell yeah!!

So Very True...

Inspirational.
I can be satisfied with myself - surprisingly I feel I have been recently able to follow.

And I feel so much better. Happier. More self-confident.
Alive.

A Fool Speaking

There are moments in life when every single one of us can consider himself as a foolish, idealistic and blind human being.
Two days ago I had a dream. This dream totally reassure me of my own foolishness.

It is a matter of teen-aged naive girls to fall in love with a musician they not only know personally but it is more than likely that he will never recognize them.
It is that blind madness together with hopeless hopes and nights of lying while staring at an empty ceiling... Your thoughts run like hell. You ask in your head so many questions beginning with a huge -WHAT IF?-.

However. Since I know how strong is my mind and intuition... I simply cannot give up.
Two years of dreaming of those sharp teeth of my little vampire. Thoughtless walks... listening just and only to his deep voice. Staring again and again at pictures of his smile.
As I said. Foolishness.

But what can I do with my conviction while knowing how much was I so many times right?
And I do believe we belong together.
I got one of my best friends and soulmates ever just because I believed in this possible frienship. For how many years we had known each other until she accepted me? And now she put me among frostdeers and shares with me her own foolish existence.
And it was me who felt we somehow belong together.
And it was not the only case.
So why shouldn't I be right again?

Few times in my damn life I felt alive and in love. But nothing lasted for two years in such an intense shape.
I may be naive. A naive desperate child.
But passionate.
And scared.
And hoping.
Why the hell do my feelings behave like a monster creature living on a roller coaster?

Epic Swedish Mornings

Well. In September I'll enter my college studies... what more - college studies including swimming lessons as the basis of PE in the first semester.

And, having holidays in the wilderness, I consider this as the very best time to work out one proper body!

So I started getting up earlier and walk with the Nordic walking poles regularly. As I realized, it isn't only an excersize that should make your muscles stronger, but a kind of strange relaxation as well.

Combine it with a great of piece of music and you get a great experience. Listening to a touching voice. Breathing the fresh early morning air. Everything becomes strangely calm around you...

A Day Off With HP!

Since everyone is talking about the new Harry Potter movie and I don't have any cinema nearby... BUT a day off and a very strong feeling I need some kind of relax with a story I have always loved, I've decided to watch the whole Harry Potter saga until the first part of Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows.

So I made myself a cup of coffee (well, there might be more of them :D) and plunge into a world of witches and wizards and all those magical creatures.

Cannot wait for the moment I'll see the last movie on a huge screen in 3D! ^^